You Don't Say
For twenty years I have consistently read one proverb each day. After doing some basic math, I realized that I have read Proverbs 17:28 around 240 times. Despite the frequent reminder, I find this verse one of the most difficult proverbs to practice. “Even a fool, when he keeps silent, is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is considered prudent.”
Before we proceed any further, we need to make a hermeneutical observation about the proverbs. Proverbs are not absolute statements of ironclad cause and effect. Proverbs state general truths of life in pithy and memorable ways. Therefore, don’t fall into the trap of taking proverbs in an overly literal way. If we took Proverbs 17:28 in an absolutely literal fashion we might say that Scripture prohibits us from speaking. This is not what it means. As Ecclesiastes 3:7 says “there is a time to be silent and a time to speak.”
If we were to re-write this proverb based on the cultural norms of America today it would read the opposite. We tend to lionize the loquacious as being competent, knowledgable and yes, even wise. The smoother and the faster someone speaks, the more people tend to trust them. We evaluate public figures by their platform personalities. Proverbs 17:28 turns this upside down.
We often demonstrate greater wisdom by what we don’t say, rather than by what we do say. It is by not speaking that we often demonstrate wisdom. Even a foolish person who makes this a practice will find themselves being held in higher esteem. And all we have to do to achieve this is simply close our mouths. Pretty remarkable.
Modern technology amplifies the need for this proverb. The internet and social media give us the ability to engage the masses. If the right people notice our posts, potentially millions can hear what we have to say. There’s something wonderful about that and also something dangerous. Occasionally, I suffer under the delusion that the universe wants to know my opinion about the state of world affairs. Fortunately, there are enough people in my life who quickly disabuse me of that notion. What I have discovered is that except for matters of sharing the Gospel or speaking God’s Word, I almost never regret what I don’t say.
How could this proverb help your relationships? Would your marriage be stronger if you were quick to listen and slow to speak? Would your relationship with your coworkers be better if you didn’t say everything that came to mind? Would your relationships with your family members be filled with a little less tension if you held your peace?