The Truth About Singleness
The first time I flew on an airplane I remember being amazed at the idea of First Class. We boarded this giant 747 airplane and passed through the business class area. As a 7 or 8 year old I was impressed. As we passed by a stairway, I asked my dad, “What’s up there?” He explained there was more first class seating up there. I was amazed that some people got bigger, more comfortable chairs and all kinds of special service that the rest of us didn’t get. We only got the “economy” experience. There’s nothing wrong with this arrangement on an airplane. Some people can afford a more expensive fare and that’s not a bad thing. However, it would be a bad thing if we took this thinking into the local church.
If we began to create a group of people in the church who were “First Class” and then "everyone else” we would begin to have all kinds of problems. Sometimes, unfortunately, the church can do this inadvertently. Often married people can be treated as those belonging to “first class” while anyone who is single might be treated more or less like a second-class person. 1 Corinthians 7:25-38 explains that this should not be the case.
Scripture teaches that singleness and marriage are both gifts from God. Because of this fact, Paul explains in 1 Corinthians 7:25 that he cannot give a hard and fast rule for each individual concerning marriage or singleness. God has given some people the gift of singleness (at least for a season of life, everyone has this gift). He has given others the gift of marriage. Singleness is a good state and so is marriage. Many people are convinced that marriage is a good state, but in our culture it often takes a whole lot of convincing that singleness has any virtue. 1 Corinthians 7 provides three perspectives that help us appreciate the value of singleness.
First, singleness has great value in light of the trails of this life. This isn’t a question of sin or of right and wrong, just a question of what is best for a person in light of the troubles of living in a fallen world. In some situations singleness is the better way. “Yet such will have trouble in this life and I am trying to spare you” (1 Corinthians 7:28).
Second, singleness has great value in light of eternity. This world is on a collision course with the judgment of God and one day will be no more. Everything in this world, including marriage itself, will one day pass away. As hard as it is to understand, marriage is not eternal. Nothing in this world lasts forever. 1 Corinthians 7:31 reminds us that: “the form of this world is passing away.” Again, this is not to say marriage isn’t a good thing, only that it is a temporal thing.
Finally, we need to think of singleness in light of the obligations of marriage. 1 Corinthians 7:32-35 warns us not of marriage but of divided loyalties. If both spouses are committed to Christ, marriage can be a wonderful partnership for the mission of God. However, if this is not the case marriage can pull a believer away from wholehearted commitment to Christ. None of these things are meant to keep us from marriage but rather help us understand that both singleness and marriage are gifts from God.
How do we apply a passage like this? First, we must take great care to affirm the value of single people in the church and make it clear that singles are welcome. Some of the most incredible servants in any church are those who are single. We don’t need to push single people toward marriage as if singleness is a condition that needs a cure. We don’t need to view singles skeptically as if something were wrong with them. Second, we need to encourage those who are single not to wish their singleness away in hoping for a relationship or marriage. Third, singles need to be challenged to see singleness as an exciting time to serve the Lord.