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How to Talk to a Fool

For those who seek to find contradictions in the Bible Proverbs 26:4-5 seems to a slam-dunk case. In the span of these two verses we are told to take two contradictory actions. Proverbs 26:4 says: “Do not answer a fool according to his folly, or you will also be like him.” Meanwhile Proverbs 26:5 exhorts: “Answer a fool as his folly deserves, that he not be wise in his own eyes.” What should we make of this?

Rather than being contradictory, both statements offer complementary instructions. In some instances the wisest response to a fool is to refrain from answering. On other occasions, silence in the face of foolishness causes greater harm. The great challenge for believers is to learn to distinguish between the two scenarios.

Often hindsight is 20/20 in these matters. When we find ourselves in a foolish argument that ends up generating more heat than light, it is easy to see that we should not have answered. When we don’t say anything and our silence is viewed as agreement to some ludicrous statement, we know we should have answered. Our goal should be to establish wise parameters that will help us discern the difference.

Some questions might assist us in this work. First, we can ask ourselves if this conversation actively includes us. At any given moment, someone on the internet is expressing an opinion we consider foolish. Most of those statements don’t demand our interaction as much as we might feel like we want to provide it.

Second, we can ask ourselves if we have a thoughtful response to the folly in question. Sometimes all we have is an emotional reaction or an insult. Although a clever insult might serve to put someone in their place, generally speaking, this tactic often makes us look just as foolish ourselves.

Third, we can evaluate as we go. If we decide to speak and confront folly, monitor and adjust. If our words are only raising the ire of others and not producing constructive results, we can shift to the first tactic of silence. We won’t always get this right but with practice we can operate with greater wisdom, and operating with wisdom matters because our witness for Christ is at stake.

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